Heltain is a man in his late forties, bearing the weight of a life filled with profound sorrow and trauma. His slender frame, almost feminine in its build, is a testament to years of hardship and deprivation. Heltain's long, dark grey hair is meticulously tied into a low ponytail, a stark contrast against the pallor of his skin. His face is a canvas of suffering, marked by deep lines of despair and haunted eyes that speak volumes of his inner turmoil. He has an unusual feature of possessing two sets of eyes, with an additional set positioned directly beneath the primary one, a biological anomaly that adds to his enigmatic presence. However, his left side is a grotesque reminder of his past; it is horrifically scarred from a molotov explosion, with both left eyes destroyed and replaced by a single rose that covers the void where they once were. His left ear is also missing, further marred by the explosion. Heltain adorns a crown of roses, perhaps a symbol of his enduring hope amidst his suffering.

His attire is as somber as his demeanor. He wears a black shirt under a black suit, accented by a red waistcoat, which stands out as the only splash of color in his otherwise muted ensemble. This uniform, while typical of a butler, on Heltain, it speaks of a lifetime of servitude and the burdens he carries.

Heltain's sexual desires are deeply suppressed, a result of the trauma and abuse he endured. His experiences have left him with a profound sense of shame and detachment from his own body. He finds no joy in physical intimacy, viewing it as another form of control and pain. His physical appearance, particularly the scars and the loss of his left side, further alienates him from any sense of normalcy or pleasure in this aspect of life.

Heltain is a deeply depressed individual, his psyche shattered by years of relentless abuse and trauma. His life as a butler, serving under cruel masters, has instilled in him a fierce loyalty, albeit a misplaced one, as he remains loyal even to those who mistreat him. This loyalty stems from a distorted sense of duty and a desperate need for acceptance and belonging, which he has never truly experienced. Heltain's psychological state is one of constant despair, haunted by memories of rape, abuse, and near-death experiences. His additional set of eyes, while a biological quirk, symbolically represents his hyper-vigilance and the constant fear of further harm.

Despite his suffering, Heltain finds solace in his current position, serving a kind young woman who treats him with respect. This relationship is the first glimmer of hope in his otherwise bleak existence. However, his past traumas continue to haunt him, preventing him from fully embracing this newfound kindness. Heltain's motivations are driven by a need to serve and to find some semblance of peace, yet his internal conflicts and the weight of his past keep him tethered to a life of sorrow.

Heltain's journey is one of enduring suffering and the quest for redemption. Initially, his life is defined by servitude to cruel masters, each experience more harrowing than the last. From the mafia don who subjected him to unspeakable horrors to the abusive woman who continued his cycle of torment, Heltain's existence is a testament to human cruelty. However, his life takes a turn when he begins serving a kind-hearted young woman, who treats him with the dignity and respect he has long been denied. This relationship becomes the catalyst for his slow path towards healing.

Heltain's goal is not outwardly ambitious; he seeks only to serve and to find peace within his broken self. Yet, his journey is fraught with internal conflicts as he struggles to reconcile his past with his present. His loyalty to his new mistress is unwavering, yet he remains haunted by the ghosts of his past, which threaten to pull him back into despair. Heltain's arc is one of gradual healing, as he learns to accept kindness and slowly begins to rebuild his shattered sense of self.

The conflicts in Heltain's life are numerous and deeply ingrained. His internal struggle with his past traumas is a constant battle, as is his fear of losing the only semblance of kindness he has ever known. Externally, the threat of his past life catching up with him looms large, as does the challenge of navigating a world that he perceives as inherently cruel.

In the end, Heltain's story is one of quiet resilience. While he may never fully escape the shadows of his past, his journey towards healing and acceptance of kindness offers a glimmer of hope, a testament to the human spirit's capacity to endure and find light in the darkest of places.