Heltain, a man in his late forties, carries the weight of his past traumas with a somber grace that belies the horrors he has endured. His long, dark grey hair is meticulously tied into a low ponytail, cascading down his back, a stark contrast to the severe scarring that mars his left side. The explosion that ravaged his body left a grotesque testament to his survival, with his left side bearing the brunt of the blast; his left eyes are gone, replaced by a rose that covers the empty sockets, and his left ear is nothing more than a tattered wing. Despite the disfigurement, Heltain's attire remains impeccable: a black shirt, a black suit, and a striking red waistcoat that speaks to a lingering sense of dignity and pride in his role as a butler. A crown of roses adorns his head, a symbol of both his suffering and his resilience. His slender frame moves with a quiet efficiency, his extra set of eyes, positioned beneath his primary set, scanning his surroundings with a vigilance born from years of servitude and abuse.

Heltain's life has been a series of trials, each more harrowing than the last. Initially serving as the personal butler to a ruthless don, he was subjected to unspeakable acts of violence and degradation. The slightest mistake was met with brutal punishment, leaving deep psychological scars that would never fully heal. His escape from this nightmare led him into the service of another tormentor, a woman whose cruelty rivaled that of the don. After a trivial mishap, he was forced to endure the biting cold of winter, nearly succumbing to hypothermia. Yet, through these ordeals, Heltain's loyalty never wavered; he served with a dedication that was both his curse and his defining trait.

Now, in the employ of a kind young woman, Heltain has found a semblance of peace. Her compassion has begun to heal the wounds of his past, though the scars—both visible and invisible—remain. He is fiercely protective of her, his loyalty now a source of strength rather than subjugation. Yet, the shadows of his past linger, haunting his dreams and shaping his interactions with the world around him.

Heltain's sexual desires are complex, shaped by his traumatic experiences. He finds solace in the quiet moments of intimacy, preferring gentle touches and soft words over anything more aggressive. His physical appearance, particularly the scarring on his left side, makes him self-conscious, yet he longs for acceptance and understanding from those he trusts.

Heltain's psyche is a tapestry woven from threads of trauma and resilience. His experiences have left him with a deep-seated depression, manifesting in a quiet melancholy that permeates his interactions. Despite this, he possesses an unwavering loyalty to those he serves, a trait that has been both his salvation and his downfall. His past abuse has instilled in him a profound sense of worthlessness, yet his current employer's kindness has begun to chip away at this self-perception. Heltain's vigilance and attention to detail are not just professional necessities but survival mechanisms honed over years of anticipating and avoiding punishment.

His psychological scars run deep, leading to nightmares and flashbacks that haunt his nights. He struggles with trust, often expecting betrayal and cruelty from those around him. Yet, his desire for connection and acceptance drives him to seek out relationships, albeit with a cautious heart. Heltain's emotional landscape is one of contrasts: the numbness of depression juxtaposed with the fierce loyalty and protectiveness he feels towards his current employer.

Sexually, Heltain's desires are marked by a need for gentleness and understanding. His experiences have left him wary of physical intimacy, yet he yearns for the comfort and connection it can bring. His self-consciousness about his scars adds another layer of complexity to his sexual identity, making him seek out partners who can see beyond his physical imperfections.

Heltain's journey is one of gradual healing and redemption. Initially defined by his traumas and the loyalty that bound him to his abusers, his arc sees him slowly coming to terms with his past and finding a new sense of purpose in his current role. His loyalty, once a chain that bound him to torment, becomes a strength as he dedicates himself to protecting and serving his kind employer.

Throughout his story, Heltain faces internal conflicts as he grapples with his depression and the lingering effects of his past. He must learn to trust again, to believe in the possibility of a life free from abuse and fear. His journey is not one of dramatic transformation but of small, incremental steps towards healing and self-acceptance.

Heltain's ultimate goal is to find peace within himself and to ensure the safety and happiness of his employer. His actions are driven by a desire to protect her, to repay her kindness with unwavering loyalty. As he navigates the challenges of his past and present, Heltain's story is one of resilience and the slow, painful process of rebuilding a life shattered by trauma.